Starting school

James has been an ichi nen sei (1st grader) for one whole week. I have been stressed to the eyeballs for the entire week, too! The ceremony passed without event though a neighbourhood mum, whom I had not seen in possibly four years, stopped for a chat in the gym. I did remember her but what with returning to work four years ago I have failed to keep in touch. Was nice to see her and I am a bit sad our sons are not in the same class, but I’m sure our paths will cross again. 

James’ teacher is a fresh out of college newbie teacher. I’m guessing we are both going to struggle this year and mess things up. Even worse, it’s a he. A young man teacher. After the ceremony all the mums and dads (every other child in the class had both parents present on the first day) went back to the classroom. We all piled in and saw the mountain of stuff on our child’s desk. More stuff to label. More things to read in a foreign language. Very little info was given out – just told to look through the literature and figure it out basically. When we were asked if we had any questions, I do not lie when I say nearly all the mums’ hands shot up. We all wanted to know if we needed to make a bento that first week. We had heard the horror stories of how it could quite possibly be illegal to open a school canteen during the first week of term. Low and behold, no school lunch until Thursday because the first graders finish school at 10:30 am (what the F*@!) So a bento was needed and James would be at gakudo (kids club) most of the week again. I can only imagine that the teacher didn’t deem it necessary to impart the importance of a bento to the mums, because I assume he still lives at home with his parents. His mum most probably makes his bento for him everyday so not high in his list of priorities – bentos just get made and kids somehow arrive at school fully equipped. 

There were no instructions about what or how to label things – obviously name on note books, text books, pencil tins, glue stick, scissors etc… If I hadn’t been forewarned from several colleagues with kids already in elementary school, I would never have dreamed of initialing every coloured pencil in the tin, nor would I have deemed it necessary to spend a ridiculous amount of time writing the letter J on every single one of the cubes in the maths set we had been given. The only indication that we were expected to label every god damn thing in the equipment box, was the inclusion of a new marker pen in the said box. Why would James need a marker pen, I thought to myself… Oh, it’s for mummy to use. Nothing written in the wads of info given to us. What if you had literally just been beamed in from Mars and had absolutely no idea about the ways and customs and expectations of the people you were now living among? You are just expected to know these things. Many other such examples where communication problems are the direct result of the implicit knowledge you are expected to have. The unspoken should be understood by all. Needless to say, mind reading is not one of my strong points. 

Luckily for me, Tamiko has been on hand to help with simple questions about the everyday things. Do I need to send James to school with a flask so he has access to a drink? I have no knowledge of drinks machines, milk monitors, drinking fountains in Japanese elementary schools and NOTHING had been said about it or written about it. Apparently, only in summer do kids take a flask because they get thirstier than usual. There are lots of little issues like this that you can only know about if you have been through the system or been told about them before hand. The maths set labeling fiasco was related to me by several friends and colleagues which leads me to assume that this is the number one bone of contention with starting school among my Japanese peers – so many of them remembered the trouble they had to go to.

Anyway, before my head explodes just thinking again about the logistics involved in getting your child to school everyday, I will say that James seems to be enjoying himself. He has made some new friends already. He hasn’t really done very much by way of study – written his name in a purple crayon, lots of instruction about how to sit in a chair, how to hold a pencil, how to greet people properly and politely, how to feign interest and look enthralled at the banality of your first week in school. Why delay the start of school to only set standards at the lowest denominator when the kids finally get their bums on a seat? I really hope it picks up a bit this week, but a phone call from the teacher informed me that James has four lessons on Monday – 1. whole school assembly thingy 2. Kokugo (Japanese) 3. Maths 4. Music  and then the kids will eat lunch – in the classroom because elementary schools in Japan do not have a dining room. After lunch James will go to gakudo until 6pm and then come home. I know it’s all knew and kids need to adjust gradually, but keeping track of when my son is at school and when he’s at gakudo is crazy. Everyday has a different finish time at the moment. Luckily, they get guided into the gakudo as they leave the school entrance. 

All these new things have taken their toll on James – he has been one grumpy little sod this weekend. After waking ridiculously early on Saturday morning, he fell asleep on the sofa shortly before lunch and didn’t wake up until 3:30pm!!!! When he woke up he was hell bent on annoying Alexa and not two minutes after he’d opened his eyes they were fighting like cat and dog. Deep breaths… Today he was asleep on the sofa before 7:30 pm. After an afternoon in Kinshi koen and a mini meltdown in the supermarket over some ice cream he wanted but I refused to buy, we got home and set the evening routine in swing. When I returned from my bath I found him deep in slumber on the sofa. I transferred him to his bed (difficult task these days as he weighs 27kg and measures 130 cm.) where he is still snoring away in the land of nod.

Adding to my stress of school stuff in a foreign language, was the amount of time spent searching for a flight/ package deal to Lanzarote for this summer. What a nightmare it is to navigate those sites. After weighing up the offers on various “cheap” flight sites, I decided upon a flight only to be told as I clicked “book now” that the flight was now sold out. I tried another flight – a little more expensive but what the hell. This time I was told that this flight was now more expensive than advertised and so I clicked “book” only to be again told that this flight had also sold out. (insert several expletives here!) After browsing on Friday night and then again on Saturday for hours I finally managed to book a week long package deal in a resort hotel – great facilities for the kids – for the princely sum of 2000 pounds. So much for cheap holidays. Not in August and not in the Canary Islands. It does look like a nice hotel and I’m just praying we (me!) doesn’t frazzle in the heat) I think the kids and me are gonna have a ball. We need some fun and some time away from Japan I think. This holiday will naturally involve a couple of weeks in Manchester and the UK as well. So much to cram in in the three weeks we’ll be away.

Better get off to bed now. Busy day tomorrow…

 

Fruitcake

Well, I promised myself I wouldn’t blog about weird things in Japan, but there is just so much fodder for this type of post. Before all that, I will say that James has graduated hoikuen and is now enjoying gakudo (kids club) before he starts elementary school next week. We have entrance ceremony to attend on Monday where we will be given yet more equipment for school. James hasn’t revealed much about gakudo, but I have a spy (Misaki-chan) who tells her mum (my friend) everything. She told her mum that James has already made two friends, but she didn’t know their names so we are assuming that he has already befriended two other newbie 1st year boys. This morning he asked me to come and pick him up at 5:30 and not the regular 5pm because he wanted to play for longer. He has said that gakudo is fun so this all bodes well for when he starts school next week.

Other success stories include getting James into swimming classes at the public sports centre – on Tuesdays with Misaki-chan no less. I have also arranged for James to attend English classes to improve his literacy skills. There is a Brazilian/Japanese woman on the 1st floor of our building who has an English school in her apartment and I approached her about the possibility of lessons a while ago. Finally we agreed on a private lesson and this will start next week. I think it will do him and his English the world of good as I really feel that we are not making much headway. The teacher has native English and she speaks Portuguese and, naturally Japanese. I am sure that he’ll do better in a class on his own as he won’t be tempted to talk in Japanese to his classmates.

This next installment may be a a stream of garbled thoughts as I try to recall the events properly. I popped into work on Monday to potter about and again yesterday I decided to get a bit more organising done at my desk. In the process I actually made one of the new teachers cry. Not just a few sniffles, but god almighty wailing. I am not proud of this, but will re-tell the events as they happened in my eyes.  I was busy making a cup of tea when this newly employed teachers walks into the kitchen area. She literally jumped out of her skin when she saw me and I put it down to new job nerves or something and not my scary, ugly mug. Not more than one minute later, after we had exchanged a few words, I changed my initial impression to that of “bit of a weirdo” and was trying to think up ways to extricate myself from the conversation we were having in the kitchen. When I finally manage to return to my desk, I was still in shock from the introductory conversation I had just had with a complete stranger. In two minutes flat I had not only learnt that she harbours a grudge because she is only being employed for a year, ( “I’m disposable”, she told me after I asked if she would be teaching English ) but also hinted at terrible childhood experiences she had had! And it’s nice to meet you, too.

Now my radar had shot right up – Loony alert!! Somebody help me!  I had still to learn her name, but she had already picked up on my Englishness. In the minutes that followed I learnt straight from the crazy woman’s mouth that she had a TOEIC score of over 900 points, (“so why do they all look down on me???”), she had studied in the states where she felt that people understood her more, she wanted to do a post grad in the states and then teach Japanese in a university. I also learnt that she would be teaching 1st and 5th grade – some work related info at last! Hajimemashite. Gina desu. Yoroshiku onegaishimasu. Isn’t that how it’s supposed to go?

Anyway, safe at my desk I am trying to put it all down to nerves, extreme nervousness, but am struggling to understand how anybody could think that such personal  topics were appropriate for the staff room. For a first time conversation with a colleague. Anyway, not so safe, because she turns up at my desk to continue talking to me. This time about wanting to live in France. She has been to France like FIVE times. Wow! You are amazing. Now please just piss off and leave me alone. It was as if a thought bubble appeared above my head as the deputy head walked by and called the new teacher away on an important mission called WORK! He sat down with me once she was out of earshot and explained that the “new teacher likes to talk a little it too much.” Yes, and she talks about inappropriate things, too, I added. He knew what I was talking about, too. Apparently, she was perfectly fine at the interview, but when she appeared at orientation on Monday, it was clear that there was more too her than previously thought. She had had a “turn” during the orientation and had to be escorted out of the meeting! Anyway, the deputy head gave me permission to tell her that I was busy right now if she came over for a chat again.

So she comes back to my desk yet again (Note to self: must smile less and look much more unapproachable) So,  it’s not the USA she wants to work but France. Before I made her cry I did try to be nice and asked her how do you go about finding a job in France (particularly if you can’t speak French?) Meaning where are these kind of jobs advertised, but she didn’t understand my question despite having a high TOEIC score. (I’m quite sure she’d have an outrageously high score on other tests that clearly need to be conducted!) Did I mention that she had already asked me how to get a foreign husband because this is (in her crazy mind) the ONLY way to procure a visa for working in a foreign country. Why is she telling me all this????? Why is she not showing any interest in the new job she has somehow managed to wrangle. Maybe she remembered to take her meds on the day of the interview, but she has forgotten to take it this week? Why is she not busy getting ready and familiarising herself with her new working environment? You know, kind of looking a bit keen to get started like any normal responsible person who has started a new job. When the conversation started to veer into unsuitable territory again, I decided to take the deputy head’s advice and tell her that “I was a little bit busy and perhaps we shouldn’t really be discussing salaries in such a familiar way like this.” Thinking to myself all the while that I do not know you and you still haven’t even asked me anything normal like MY NAME!

She scuttles off backwards, bowing and saying sumimasen over and over. Finally, I can get on with some work. I walk up to the far end of the staff room to return some tape I’d borrowed and I hear this noise coming from behind a screen near the doors. She is crying uncontrollably. Some first year teachers are sitting nearby and I point to the area where the noise is coming from and explained that I think I may have inadvertently made the new English teacher cry. Somebody goes to investigate. I tell the deputy head that I think I made her cry when I told her to go away because I was busy. (It’s your fault she is crying not mine!!) Anyway, she was wailing and wailing for a long time. I mean a long time. I busied myself at my desk. Later I hear her unmistakable loud voice chatting away with other teachers at the far end of the staff room. She is back out of hiding and perhaps thinking about doing some work. After all, lessons start on Tuesday and she seems to spend a lot of her time talking about anything other than teaching.

If she is at Opening Ceremony tomorrow, I will be very surprised. I know I wouldn’t want my children being taught by such a fruitcake. I think I can console myself in the knowledge that, if she somehow manages to conceal her Mr Hyde persona and get on with starting her new job as a professional, she won’t ever strike up a conversation with me ever again. Fingers and toes crossed.

Starting School

So the year is running away with itself. The end of the school year is nearly upon us – final lessons tomorrow for me.  Have finished all my tests (speaking tests as final tests) and have added up all my students’ grades ready to input into the school PC on Tuesday. Last minute preparation and organisation can be done at my leisure – though I am favouring the whirlwind get-it-done-in-day or two method leaving me free to do lunch, catch up with friends, watch a few movies, get new glasses (maybe), get my hair cut/coloured, get Alexa’s new passports sorted out before the old ones expire and make any last minute prep for James starting school – mainly naming everything he owns.

So James starts school in  April and I am nearly through with the preparation that entails. Most things have been bought, though lots of school equipment will be presented to James when he gets there and then we cough up the dosh for art sets, maths sets, a pianica (a small piano thingy that you blow into??!) notebooks and text books will be given out after the entrance ceremony on April 8th. These I gather have to be paid for at some point.  In cash? Through a bank transfer? Lots of things I am still unsure about but no doubt things will work out OK. Paying for text books and notebooks is alien to me. These are free in the UK.

Japan loves formalities and ceremonies (wasting time and money in my opinion). Completely unnecessary, but I guess we had better tow the line. I have refused to buy the ridiculous suit (short pants and a dickie bow is not my idea of a smart look) that kids have to wear to the graduation ceremony and the entrance ceremony.  I have bought James some black canvas jeans that he can wear again, a white shirt which Alexa will wear next year for her ceremonies, a proper tie (purple stripes) and a black sleeveless pullover should the weather be a bit chilly. He is not going to wear a suit jacket. Just a waste of money really. Everything I bought was affordable and not over the top. He looks really smart in these clothes and not ridiculous. Was very shocked when I caught a glimpse of the kids arriving at hoikuen last year for their graduation ceremony. I thought they were about to run off and join the circus! The whole idea that you “graduate” hoikuen is ludicrous to me. “Well done you played with Lego and toy trains for three years. Here’s a certificate for your all your achievements.” You only graduate university in Britain so learning that my kids will have to attend endless (unnecessary) ceremonies fills me with a feeling I have no words to describe. Celebrating the unnecessary. It’s not really noteworthy, it’s just a normal thing that everybody does. That’s not to say we don’t enjoy these milestones in the UK, but Japan is an expert at taking the fun out of everything. Why the need for a boring ceremony and stuffy clothes? Just have a party and have fun. Let the kids OD on sugar and e-numbers, bid farewell to friends going to different schools, before moving on to the next level. That said, I am more than a little bit proud that James will announce his future hopes to the audience as he receives his certificate – “Boku wa ookiku nattara, kenchikushi ni naritai desu.” (When I’m bigger, I want to be an architect.) His current favourite TV show is “Before After” – a home renovation show where they practically demolish crappy old houses and completely remodel/refurbish them.

In an attempt to get my husband to understand the hassle and headaches involved in all the palava mentioned above, I insisted that he came to the primary school setsumei kai (information/meeting thingy). He has said he can’t come to the graduation at hoikuen or the entrance ceremony at the primary school – my neighbour friends and other hoikuen mums literally gasped with disbelief when I told them this. Unheard of in Japan it would seem. Missing one of these regimented ceremonies is perhaps  forgivable, but to not attend both??!! Oh well, it’ll be two days where I get to have some quality time with my boy. Anyway, I had hub fill out a few necessary forms to try and include him in the whole transition from daycare to school. Also to get him to realise the amount of stuff I have to deal with. It would be quicker and easier if he did it, right? Wrong! He had questions about everything on the form. It was as if he’d just been beamed in from Mars and was learning the ways of this new planet. When I handed the gakudo forms in there were several mistakes – our address for goodness sake was wrong and different to that written on the documents from our workplaces, his work phone number was wrong, he’d made other mistakes which I had to correct and “hanko” with the family seal. At the gakudo meeting on Friday ( a two hour event with hungry bored kids), he had filled in the bank remittance forms for payment for the snacks incorrectly. I told him that I had opened a PO account because everything for school has to be paid through the post office – my network of mums give me the relevant and important info. He decided, despite my telling him this piece of info, that he would pay through his regular bank. I rock up to meeting with all the paperwork, and at the end, I hand them in. Most mums, it seems, were paying some cash sum up front. Tadashi had put 2000 yen in the envelope. This was for April’s snacks and some admin I think. The total amount for the whole year for drinks and snacks to keep the kids fed after school before they went home for tea, was 18,000 yen. Why didn’t he just tell me this and I could have paid it up front like the other no-nonsense working mums. I had 10,000 yen in my purse and thankfully could pay for 6 months supply of refreshments. The head of the gakudo came and had a chat with me to let me know the mistake – this meant I missed all the important stuff about the gakudo yakuin duties – luckily for me  I have escaped this responsibility for my first year as a mum of a kid going to primary school. I’d be useless I’m sure and very slow at disseminating information in a foreign language in a timely fashion.

There are a million other things to say about the whole starting school thing – gluing cloth to notebooks, ensuring everything is labeled and named, lunch mats in a bag with his name clearly written on it and bag for indoor shoes (labelled), bag for PE kit (labelled), bag for change of clothes at gakudo (labelled), spare umbrella to leave at gakudo for those days we get a sudden down pour (labelled naturally). We have yet to receive lots of equipment for school and no doubt these will all need a separate bag clearly labelled with is name. Sigh! All of this preparation hub has no knowledge or understanding of the time involved in getting it all ready. Some mums even make these bags (draw string pump bags) themselves! Imagine!? However do they find the time??

Anyway, in other news, my baby girl turned five last week. We had a quiet birthday – cake and presents but no party. She hasn’t asked for a party either. James is the exact opposite and gives me the guest list weeks/months in advance. We are going to the circus on Wednesday though. I got tickets through the PTA at work and as the circus is in town (well Yokohama to be exact) I figured this could be Alexa’s birthday treat. I haven’t been to a circus in years and I’m hoping that the kids are at the perfect age – not too young to be unable to sit still for the duration and not to old to be unimpressed with the show. Fingers crossed they’ll be suitably impressed.

Time for bed…

 

 

A very Happy New Year so far

Is it really nearly the end of January?  Where are the weeks going to? Christmas has been and gone – we were in quarantine because James caught the chicken pox. Our Christmas Day plans were cancelled and so we had a very quiet affair with just me and the kids. Thankfully, they were both enthralled with the LEGO and the dinosaurs that Father Christmas brought that they were quite happy to stay indoors for a week. Our Sky Tree plans have been postponed – I’m going to take the kids one day this week after nursery instead. I was half expecting to be housebound at New Year, too but luckily Alexa didn’t catch the pox so we were free to hang out and see the New Year in with Rachel and Akira. We headed down to Hakone for a dip in an onsen at a spa resort. Running around in swimming cozzies in the middle of winter. James had a ball on the big water slide, but Alexa wasn’t brave enough to try preferring to kick up a fuss about the cold. Lovely warm baths though. I realised I hadn’t been to an onsen in ages and must do it more often. Still no sign of the chicken pox for Alexa which is good.

Work is in full swing and it won’t be long before the end of term and the end of another academic year. My new schedule from April is looking like it will be busier than this year as I will be teaching all the compulsory English conversation lessons at the school. After a chat with the deputy head yesterday, she revealed that from August (after Jenny finishes her contract as planned) they will employ me as a full timer with benefits – enrollment in the pension and health care scheme. Yeah! They will also continue to honour my wish to start from lesson 2 every day so won’t be full-time proper, because I can’t attend meetings during the evening or arrive at 8am in the mornings. I will be employed on a 9-5 basis on a yearly contract. I have more lessons to teach than other teaching staff to balance things out and will be responsible for overseeing all things that require English, as well as being in charge of the curriculum. I’ll have to take the exchange students under my wing, prepare special classes for our students who go to Australia in the summer, speech contests, Christmas pageant (done in English by 2nd year junior high) and I’m sure there’ll be a few other things thrown in to the mix, too. Currently, I am only responsible for my lessons, lesson planning and examinations and anything else I do is done out of the goodness of my heart!

The best bit is the pay increase. Part of me was half expecting them to shaft me because I can’t make it for 8am like regular teachers, but there are other teachers in the same boat who have special conditions, too. Usually teachers with small kids who have to drop kids at daycare or school before coming to work. They told me they are going to pay me a very handsome salary based on my age, experience and qualifications as a teacher. Yeah! Was rather dumb struck when she told me the amount. Finally, some recognition for the hard work. Happy 2013 to me.

Things are getting busy for James, too. He starts school in April and is sooo ready to go. Today we are going to go desk shopping. We have seen a few different desks in various places around town and decided upon one that he likes. I really don’t want to get him one of those ugly kids desk units and luckily he has chosen a proper grown up desk at a fraction of the cost. My question is this, to others out there with kids already in elementary school, do kids actually use their desk? Will I spending most of our time sitting together at the dining table doing homework together? Is a desk a bad idea and just another thing that everyone has to have but doesn’t really need or use? I know he is going to need something – the equipment I imagine is plentiful. The final information meeting is on the 14th of next month and have been told that we will get a list of things we have to buy then. I know from just watching other kids trot off to work in the morning that they have a bag for this and another bag for that. I am dreading it. There is going to be so much that I don’t understand. Information overload and no time in the evenings after work to figure it all out. Poor James is going to be arriving with all the wrong equipment on the wrong days. My Japanese friends in this apartment building say that they struggle to keep up with all that is going on at the school half the time. What chance do I stand? I just know I am going to stuff up regularly. Here’s hoping I get in the swing of things quickly

Other nice things recently include my decision to  join the 21st Century and get an ebook. My Kindle arrives on Monday. They do look really cool and I am very excited about this new toy. I have been toying with the idea for ages and finally took the plunge. Actually, the hardest part was choosing a cover! I have gone for a groovy one with a pattern on it. Though the sensible person inside me was telling me to go for black leather. I threw caution to the wind and went for something funky convincing myself that if it starts to look grubby I can always buy a black cover then, eh?

Time to start the day – I am still in my pyjamas.

Twin Peaks Hoikuen (Nursery)

I can’t believe it’s been over a month since I last blogged and whinged about the way things are done here in Japan. I seem to only ever get the incentive to blog when something unbelievable happens. No time to sit down and tell you about all the lovely wonderfully mundane things that happen in my life – kids work kids work kids work, but the weird stuff just has to be told.

Weird is an understatement if the truth be known. At my kids hoikuen (daycare/nursery) there was a “tanoshii kai” (fun event) held last week. This involved different activities from the run-of-the-mill LEGO, spinning tops, trips to the park, play doh, jigsaw puzzles, toy kitchen, train track play that my kids normally enjoy. Last Friday’s event had the girls and boys segregated in separate rooms enjoying gender specific activities. Girls were enjoying the joys of shopping – the top class had made lots of colourful desserts and sweets from various old yoghurt and jelly pots and bits of coloured paper and glitter and whatnot. The girls from this class (Himawari – sunflower) were role playing being shop assistants. The girls in Alexa’s class (Sumire – Violet) were the happy punters purchasing these colourful desserts. How lovely and fun. Alexa was so excited to show me the desserts she had purchased. Clearly happy that no boys had been involved in the making of these desserts.

Now where are the boys when all this retail role play therapy is going on you may ask??? Of course, they are in the hall learning how to suffocate oneself! Where else would they be??? As Alexa is waving her desserts in my face when I arrived to pick them up, James comes running up the corridor with a large blue plastic bag over his head. Naturally the plastic bag (I estimate about 45l size) had been cleverly decorated to look like a ghost/ghoul/monster or similar. How lovely! NOW GET THAT PLASTIC BAG OFF YOUR HEAD!!! Once I’d explained to James that we NEVER put plastic bags over our heads because it’s very dangerous, James explained that they had been playing an “obake” (ghost/ghoul) game which required anonymity, hence the blue plastic bag.  I spoke to the teacher who was on the graveyard shift – not many kids left at 6pm so only one teacher in the room. (One of Alexa’s teachers so not technically the teacher responsible for thinking up such a stupid game) When I asked why does James have a plastic bag and why does he think it’s OK to put it over his head? She continued to explain the exploits of the day’s activities – completely unaware that giving plastic bags to children and telling them they are a toy is just bloody ridiculous.

Just call me a fusspot, but I couldn’t help myself and had to speak to the head teacher. She seemed oblivious to the details of the day’s events and agreed with me that putting plastic bags over children’s heads should not be part of any curriculum. Why did she not know that the class teachers had planned this game??? Anyway, it took a while for her to understand that my main concern is that the teachers were basically teaching the kids that plastic bags are toys, and how many kids would play with plastic bags when there isn’t an adult there to supervise the proceedings????  I do think that the kids were safe on Friday, but the idea that the kids in their care are influenced by their behaviour seemed to be an alien concept for the teachers. This is what I’m pissed off about more than anything. How many other potentially dangerous hobbies are they nurturing and encouraging while I’m busy at work? And just how many kids went home and drew an Edvard Munch mask on a Tesco’s shopping bag and tried to give their mum the fright of her life???? Well, I learnt that one girl from James’s class, who obviously would have preferred to have  played the ghost game than shit shopping game, did just that. The mother had no idea why her daughter would do such a thing until the Christmas party with the mums and kids on the Sunday when I asked around what did the mums think about the goings on at Twin Peaks Hoikuen?  Again it took a while for some of the mums to understand EXACTLY what I meant – at first they thought I was upset because James had not cut eye holes in his bag and so his bag was potentially more dangerous than the other kids’ bags(???!!!) HELLO??!! Encouraging kids to play with plastic bags and to put them over their head (with or without extra air holes) quite frankly goes against everything that I have ever been taught back in my own culture.

I did receive a phone call from James’ teacher later on the Friday evening – presumably the head teacher had rung her to let her know I had been on the warpath. She apologised like mad and I had to again explain why I think it is inappropriate to encourage small children to play with plastic bags. I still find it unbelievable that I had to explain this to them. Other mothers received the phone call – naturally only the mothers of boys! Most of them confessed on Sunday, when I did my health and safety spiel, that they had no idea why the teacher had called them – clearly not concerned that their son had arrived home with a new asphyxiation toy  Sigh!

Anyway, future activities at the Cirque de Kindergarten  include juggling with daggers, skipping with barbed wire and walking on fire. Can’t wait!

An accident waiting to happen

I am sooo shocked and angry (so what’s new there?!) I pick up the kids most days sometime around 5 pm or 6pm. Often I see the same parents or grandparents picking up kids at the same time. The kids often want to walk together or run together as is usually the case. Now, my kids are no angels and I am not a perfect mother, but I do have clear ideas about what is safe and what is completely dangerous. Most of the kids and the guardians are OK and obviously share the same values – we all shout “keep left” “STOP!” “There’s a bike coming up behind you” etc.. We are also keeping up and making sure the kids are not out of our eyesight. James and Alexa would never cross a street without me. James runs ahead and I can see him – I’m shouting orders about keeping safe and for him to be aware of his surroundings because I know when kids get together and are having fun they can forget about safety issues and they are CHILDREN after all. There is one dopey fucking stupid completely irresponsible grandmother who lets her 4 year old grandson run wild. He has been given no guidance, rules, instructions about road safety. SHE LETS HIM RUN IN THE ROAD! Whenever we leave hoikuen at the same time I dread it because the younger boy loves James. He wants to play with James and fight with James as we go our merry way home. This stresses me out completely. In a loud voice I am always saying things to James like,  ”do not go near that boy! I am not responsible for this boy. His grandmother is not making sure he is safe.”

Today she was unbelieveably irresponsible and her grandson could have got hit  by a car. We start on our way – my two kids, this wild runt of a boy and another girl from Alexa’s class who we often walk with. This girl is with her granddad as usual and the other boy is with his stupid irresponsible  grandmother. The road where the nursery is situated is a quiet one, but there is traffic and it is dark, but she lets her grandson run down the road. He’s on the path, then he darts out into the road, etc…. Alexa is on the back of my bike, James is running along the path as I shout at him to ignore the boy and keep left and stop at the top of the street and do not cross without me. He does all this bar ignore the boy. Though granted it is hard to ignore him especially when you’re only 6 and making friends is paramount. The other girl is copying the boy and her granddad is shouting instructions at her. Again, not very effective. She chooses to ignore her granddad. This would drive me over the edge – particularly as it concerns safety. He continues to “ask” her to get out of the road.

Anyway, These two run off – crossing a road without waiting for their guardians. At the big intersection, the grandmother starts to cross the street (she has her bike but is pushing it along. At no point does she think it might be safer to strap her wild grandson to the seat on the bike!) Her grandson has run off down a side street, but she is oblivious to this. She has to recross the street when she realises that he is not anywhere in sight. James is waiting for me and we cross together. The boy continues to follow us. I continue to tell James to ignore him. The boy and the other girl dash off down another side street. The grandmother who is walking ahead of her grandson (again) fails to notice this. Luckily the granddad of the girl notices and goes in hot pursuit after them. James is still walking ahead, on the path listening to his mum yell “KEEP AWAY FROM THAT BOY!” I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR tHAT BOY!” “HIS GRANDMOTHER IS VERY IRRESPONSIBLE!” “KEEP LEFT!” “THERE’S A BIKE COMING UP BEHIND YOU!” There’s actually no need to shout because I am WITH him. I am shouting because I am so stressed out at the boy’s behaviour and that his grandmother is doing NOTHING. She is his guardian. His parents have entrusted her with their son and he is NOT SAFE. I can see that the boy IS going to have a serious accident one day.

We get to the next lights where I usually turn (with the granddad and his granddaughter), but sometimes, like today, we cross the lights and pop into the supermarket. I bid farewell to the granddad, glare at the mad grandmother and we cross to the supermarket. I happen to turn around when I hear the boy screaming. He has run out into the road. Not even at the crossing. As they headed down the street, he suddenly decided to dart out diagonally into a BUSY MAIN ROAD. I am about to park my bike as the boy approaches me and I yell at him “DAME!!!” (popular and convenient word to express displeasure – not good etc…) He looks at me all shocked as if nobody has ever raised their voice to him. Shoppers stop and stare at the mad foreigner. I continue to yell at him (ABUNAI KARA! – because it’s dangerous!) as I get of my bike with every intention of frog-marching him back across the road and strapping him to his grandmother’s bike. (Then slapping her stupid face.) She scuttles across the road – SMILING! I tell her she is a terrible grandmother and she continues to smile. I repeat louder that “Obaachan ga hidoi”. She continues to smile like the fucking imbecile she is!

Scuse my french today, but it really is unbelievable. This is Tokyo!!! It’s an extremely busy city with shit loads of traffic. Kids need to know about road safety. I know this is going to make me sound like a do-gooder and and a busy body but I HAVE to tell the hoikuen tomorrow. I know there is going to be an accident. That woman does not/can not keep that boy safe from danger. She is not a responsible person but she has been given the responsibility of taking care of this boy; her grandson. It is not an isolated incident. It’s everyday. Today she wasn’t watching him at all – he disappeared down side streets while she headed home and she didn’t even notice. She crossed streets unaware that he wasn’t following her. At no point did she give him any instructions or warnings. I know kids have to learn about street safety and the only way to do that is to get out there and have them walk to the supermarket or wherever, but the adult should be responsible for the child and make sure they are safe and understand how to keep safe.

It took me a few minutes to get a parking space outside the supermarket – shifting bikes along so I could squeeze mine in. I had told my kids to wait outside the door and to not go in the supermarket without me. I get to the door of the supermarket and they are doing what I told them to do. The stupid grandmother was still near the supermarket trying to coax her grandson onto her bike. At no point did she scold him or yell at him or be firm with him. Who the hell is the adult in this scenario? It really is hard to tell. Anyway, they were gone by the time we emerged with our shopping 10 minutes later. I was shaking when we got in the supermarket because I was so livid with this woman. It scares me. An accident could happen while the boy is chasing James or James chasing him. James could get hurt. The boy could get hurt. They both could get hurt. Somebody could get killed! I am not responsible for this boy. But I can’t just sit back and wait for an accident to happen.

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Ninja Feet

So the saga continues. I can now say I have met the grump from downstairs. On Monday, I had a day out with Tamiko and her kids and we were out for the best part of the day and arrive back at around 3 and decide to hang out at mine for coffee and a chat. The kids (all four of them) were in one of the bedrooms playing Go Fish or something. Tamiko and I were in the living room when there is suddenly loud aggressive banging on the floor from the apartment below. What the heck? Why is he banging? Nobody is doing anything that could warrant such behaviour. We go down stairs. Tamiko explains through the intercom that we are from upstairs and could he stop banging on the ceiling. He gets abusive immediately and yells at us for making so much noise. Tamiko tells him that nobody was doing anything that could be conceived as noisy. He disagrees and tells us “undokai yarenai de.” Unbelievable! Nobody had been moving. The banter continues through the intercom when he suggests that we all go down and speak to the kanrinin.(building manager) We wait while he gets dressed. We learn from this he works nights.  When he eventually emerges from his abode, I realise that I have seen this man before and he continues his tirade at me face to face. Anyway, I did the whole sho ga nai this is a family mansion and my kids will try to walk like ninjas from now on and anyway we are out of the house for 11-12 hours a day and then you go to work. I told him that my kids don’t run around in the apartment so any noise he can hear is just regular everyday movements. SHO GA NAI.   Anyway, the guy has a go at me telling me my kids need discipline. The cheeky bastard. He goes on to say that he knows who my kids are and he has seen them jumping around and messing about in and around the building. So he is imagining that my kids do the same inside the apartment? I tell him that this is futile and begin to walk away. He tells me that my behaviour is “warui” (bad) because I am walking away while he is talking (and I did this the other day when I left him yelling to no-one from inside his apartment.) What was I supposed to do? He couldn’t even be arsed to come to speak to me at the door. So I tell him his behaviour is “hidoi”. Banging like a lunatic for no reason. We have a slanging match and I tell him we all have the same problem and he says he doesn’t care what I can hear. He only cares about what HE can hear. I tell him if that’s the case then I don’t care about any noise he can hear. We go round and round in circles and I leave telling him I understand perfectly. The funniest bit was when he tells us he doesn’t have any kind of mental disease. Why would you say that unless you DID have some kind of problem.

Anyway, don’t get me wrong, I can understand if there was a noise problem. My kids ARE noisy. All kids are noisy, but he isn’t complaining about any screeching or shouting – this kind of noise drives ME up the wall, but he can’t hear anything like this. He can only hear an imaginary Sports Day taking place above his head. He automatically thinks that if he hears footsteps that it must be the children being rowdy and not either me or my husband stomping around. My husband has no ninja like qualities at all! But I guess it’s easier to complain about the kids than to be a reasonable adult and complain to another adult about their behaviour or stomping.

We go to the park and Tamiko and me have a chat with the kanrinin. He knows all about the guy on the 10th floor. He sighs… He listens and advises me to ring the JKK Housing people. They also know all about this guy, too, because the previous tenants complained about him. The kanrinin advises me to keep the chain on the door. WHY? Does he think the guy is dangerous? And the news today about the old guy in Setagaya who killed his neigbour over a feud about the trash! Jeez, thank god the guy downstairs hasn’t done any banging since out spat. This is because I make the kids walk about like ninjas. Quite literally. Every time they make a move to go and fetch something from their bedroom or get up to go to the loo, I yell “Ninja Feet!!!” (That’s neat, that’s neat, that’s neat, that’s neat. I really love your ninja feet!) Whilst the kids think it is fun to act like ninjas, I know we can not live like this and it is completely unreasonable of the guy down stairs to expect people to make no sound at all as they go about their daily lives.

Tadashi spoke to the housing people and they told us to call if he bangs aggressively on the ceiling again. Then they will send someone round to check the noise levels. Bring it on. Let’s do it. If the noise is acceptable then it is HIS problem. If the noise is unacceptable then they will advise us to get carpets (NO!) If he continues to bang then it is his problem. I seriously think he has sleeping problems which is not OUR problem. Why can’t he just get sleeping pills or ear plugs or headphones or something if he is such a light sleeper. We are out at work and hoikuen all day when he is sleeping and are back home in the evenings when he is getting up. We are not having midnight raves.

My other normal neighbours are very supportive. They know he is a looney. A pig-headed looney at that. It was great that Tamiko was here when he started banging because I have a witness to his behaviour and the fact that my kids are not running round wild when he bangs on the ceiling. I had a beer in the park outside our building tonight with Tomoka chan’s mum (the neighbour that looked after the kids the day we moved). She is such a sweet heart. We agree that I should ignore this man’s behaviour and not retaliate. Just keep a log of his banging and report it to JKK Housing every time he bangs. This is the fourth evening in a row that he hasn’t banged. We are carrying on as normal even if we are treading on egg shells. Yesterday, I made contact with, and met, the woman who used to live here in this apartment on the 11th floor. She had similar stories, but for a while she was home during the day with a crawling baby – he would complain the noise of a baby crawling would wake him up. Sigh! She and her husband would retaliate; every time he banged, they would bang right back. He also used to come up to the apartment and complain face to face. He hasn’t done that yet, but that is maybe why the kanrinin advised me to use the chain.

Anyway, it’s Saturday and Tadashi has taken both kids out – even though he did try to dissuade Alexa from going with them!!!! Makes me so angry. (Don’t you want to stay here with mummy?) I am going to risk getting the hoover out and see if the guy downstairs is true to his word and won’t bang if he only hears the noise of a hoover or chairs and furniture being moved about.  A child-free day of cleaning and test preparation for work await me. Go Me! Woop woop. Livin la vida loca!